Broken, But Beautifully Mended

August 13th, 2016. 1:30 PM. Sandusky, OH. The date, the time, the location. A year ago I was supposed to walk down the aisle to the man that used to be the man of my dreams. Three months prior that changed. A year ago me was depressed. A year ago me cried multiple days out of the week. A year ago me forced myself to eat, although I never felt hunger. A year ago me would count the hours until I could be back in bed after work. A year ago me was angry/sad/hurt/confused. A year ago me couldn't shake the comment that came from the same person who was ultimately the reason why the wedding got postponed. (I was apparently "manipulating [someone] into thinking [I'm] a nice and wonderful person.") A year ago me wouldn't have written this blog because I would've been told it might hurt someone's feelings. A year ago me had emotional breakdowns at every wedding I went to after I knew I wasn't having my own. A year ago me would eventually g...

Background In this life, there are good days and bad. Most of the time the good days outnumber the bad. I thought this to be true, until last year. About a year ago is when my life took a turn towards the path of depression. For about 7 months, I tried to convince myself that things would work out, that the sadness and emptiness inside would just disappear. In short, my heart was shattered, for reasons that I will never understand. It was a slow and painful breaking. It isolated me to my job and then to my apartment. I felt so numb inside that I had to force myself to eat because I was never hungry. It caused much sickness, unhealthy weight loss, and doctor visits. I was falling apart waiting for the day to be put back together. Moving On I knew I was sad. I had lost hope of ever being happy again. When I look back on life then, I honestly do not know how I made it or more importantly, how I let myself stay for so long in a situation that was physically, emotionally, a...