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Blocking Ya Blessings

I’ve been living in Memphis, TN since the second week of April. When I got home from my internship in Spain, I had two weeks to find a place to live, pack up my life, and start this new adventure. It’s been a great time thus far and I’ve found more than just employment in my short time here. Since the beginning of 2018, I’ve been thinking about how none of the things that I have experienced this year would have happened without going through a broken engagement. I’ve been feeling very blessed to be able to “start over” and move on although it hasn’t always been easy, and I haven’t always had this mindset. I’ve gone from feeling like my life was being ruined by a relationship that I had no say in, to seeing it as a blessing. Let me tell you, that doesn’t happen overnight, and I was scared that I would never be able to see my broken engagement and devastated heart as a good thing. My past can now be used as a tool to help those in my present. When I was in the midst of the storm, I
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Depressing Anniversary

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August 13th, 2016. 1:30 PM. Sandusky, OH. The date, the time, the location. A year ago I was supposed to walk down the aisle to the man that used to be the man of my dreams. Three months prior that changed. A year ago me was depressed. A year ago me cried multiple days out of the week. A year ago me forced myself to eat, although I never felt hunger. A year ago me would count the hours until I could be back in bed after work. A year ago me was angry/sad/hurt/confused. A year ago me couldn't shake the comment that came from the same person who was ultimately the reason why the wedding got postponed. (I was apparently "manipulating [someone] into thinking [I'm] a nice and wonderful person.") A year ago me wouldn't have written this blog because I would've been told it might hurt someone's feelings. A year ago me had emotional breakdowns at every wedding I went to after I knew I wasn't having my own. A year ago me would eventually g
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Spring Is Here || Life Beyond Disappointments

Background In this life, there are good days and bad. Most of the time the good days outnumber the bad. I thought this to be true, until last year. About a year ago is when my life took a turn towards the path of depression. For about 7 months, I tried to convince myself that things would work out, that the sadness and emptiness inside would just disappear. In short, my heart was shattered, for reasons that I will never understand. It was a slow and painful breaking. It isolated me to my job and then to my apartment. I felt so numb inside that I had to force myself to eat because I was never hungry. It caused much sickness, unhealthy weight loss, and doctor visits. I was falling apart waiting for the day to be put back together. Moving On I knew I was sad. I had lost hope of ever being happy again. When I look back on life then, I honestly do not know how I made it or more importantly, how I let myself stay for so long in a situation that was physically, emotionally, a
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